Runningg~~~

run like the wind machus. run. you run and you thither but dont know where. you want to be social or you want to be a "good boy". you want to pursue your happiness or you want to be accepting to the surroundings. is it not ironical when sometimes you feel that you have lost all control of your life and you see yourself on an island with few resources. you see them, you know you can do a lot to get off it. but dont know how to. your creative mind fails you, your potential leaves you, your ambitions go with the tides, your patience go down the drain and you just get more and more frustrated by the day. what do you do when you find yourself in a situation where you know what is right and what you want to do but is not acceptable by the norm. what do you do? ones logic might acutally ask you to listen to your inner wants and inner feelings and try to satisfy them to the best possible. is it really possible? can one really do the things they have in mind or is it just a myth? i have a couple of ambitions. real or arbitaray dont know. dont know where to draw the line. where to go and what lead to pick? who to battle and who to subdue to? what do i do? you face these ambitions and have a theory from day one but you find it ever so hard to fit it into your normal daily routine that its not even funny. you want to do soo much and want to accomplish soo much. but with the negativity that surrounds you, the busy schedules and the ever so diminishing amount of patience, that you really dont feel like getting up and doing anything about it. it doesn't matter if that takes like 5 minutes of your daily routine. you find yourself asking the question what good is that gonna do. im not gonna pursue this after maybe a week. so why bother. thus those ambitions remain a part of us. deep down inside we feel a shrinking feeling. its like you grow frustrated, loose patience, loose sight of what you actually set out to do. my mind is a complete blank right now. The End.

Dual Lives

yah yah i know. dont nod your head. another one of those things that you think im gonna rattle around like crazy. but think about it. do we live dual lives or do we lead one honest straight forward lives? Do we meet people who lead dual lives or is it just a sujbect that we read in the psychology books? i dont think there is anybody out there who is really sure on how to answer either question as a matter of principle. even if you are thinking that you are frank, honest, to the point and not hide or lie about anything, sub-consciously you do. there is nothing wrong with it. its just a human nature. i wonder how you can actually try to remedy that and lead one honest straight forward life. i know you want to lead dual lives, but from the people who we love or care about, i dont think its fair to them that we actually hide the our true inner selves. yes we want to tell them, but cant find the words. yes we want to share the world with them, but want to keep some things to ourselves. yes we want to give them all that they deserve and more, but feel like holding onto things from time to time. i want everyone to know my life, but at the same time i dont want to feel naked in my thoughts. i want them to share every moment of my life especially with the closest friends, but dont want them to judge me for what i do. why does everyone forget that what one does, does not reflect their personality but maybe a cause of their ability to jump into things and maybe regret it later. i am a smoker for those who dont know. but i dont want to be judged as one of those "bad boys that parents wnat to keep their kids away from" but cant change their thoughts or their attitudes. one might think and feel comfortable with the idea of leading dual lives... but can you justify it? i cant. if you can, then tell me and i will try to adopt. myabe it will give me that happier place that im looking for.

Logiccc

my logic, your logic, their logic, philosophers logic, whose logic, what logic, why logic.... haiiii logic... thats the story of our lives that we face everyday. everyone thinks their logic is the best. everyone has a set of ideas that they are willing to die for, to fight to the end to prove their point from THEIR perspective.... nothing more nothing less. why is it so hard for us to freaking listen to the one standing next to us at all times with an open ear and be ready for change? is it really that hard? or difficult for that matter? i think not. then why stop. it would be soo much easier if you just hear people out. yes we hear them, but during the part of the conversation we get stuck on a point that we think is right and forget that the other person is talking. WHY???? pagal ho kya??? is that person talking for no reason.... maybe he/she has a point. why not listen and then think over it at least. they wasting their time away to actually get their thought across to you. do you now care enuf to even listen to them or think the way they thinking or try to see the light from their point of view? if not why? our logic creates a shell around us and forces us to stay in it for the longest time possible. it prevents us from the outside exposure, the outside contact and for new information to come in. its like knowledge. the more you know the better it is for you as a person. logic follows the same pattern. if you know more, you can be more logical with proofs and validations that can support your logic. but if we are too stubborn as to not even listen to it or listen to it with a shut ear, how the hell is new information actually gonna come in.... osmosis.... yah right..... so let the flow of information in and open up. dont be afraid of change. change for the better is a good change... we all need change. we all change. its just how we change that matters and makes a difference for us and the people who we care for. so change and make that feeling of warmth be felt.

Theory of No~!!!

hello... NO.... are you... No.... will you.... NO..... Please..... No.... i wonder what it takes people to actually turn around and give a yes in the first time around. why is it the desi mentality to say no to every god damn thing on the face of this earth. why does everyone turn around and say no to the one standing next to them. why cant it be a yes and thank you very much and lets get our lives moving... why does it always have to be so damn harrrrdddd and a process in itself to actually make an effort to go out and convince the person and literally beg them to say yes to anything.... .i wonder. i just wonder....

What to do and What not to do..... Haiiiiiiiii

Inspired by the Indian movie, Rangeela, obviously translated in english, plays a vital role in my life and im not wrong plays an important part of everyone of our lives in all aspects. To me its always been the english translation. Dont know why but acts out as a bigger part of a picture that we as individuals seldom realize. I am confronted with this notion every freaking minute of my life. What do to, where to go, who to meet, who to ignore, how to do it, when to smile, who's life to touch and make them smile, who will it matter too are some of the many many random questions that i have formulated in my tiny brain which I myself dont realize as off yet. Yes you may say that I have all the time on my hands to actually think about these things or too much "farigh" time to actually have thought about it. I have realized that the most beautiful of all things made, constructed in a virtual sense, blessed to mankind, a present to all, a life saver, a mood swinger, an act of charity, a friendship "hug", a comfortble feeling, a sense of being, enlightenment, an act of grace is nothing but a pure and genuine smile. yes you heard me right. its a SMILE. :) this alone and nothing alone has the bestest of effects on one and all. to the extent animals also know the importance of smiles. so why do we humans hesitate to smile and make and touch the lives of people around us. all it needs is 17 muscles which is far more easier a task to achieve than 42 muscles for a frown. so why not smile. this is the best thing i have learnt from my experience in States. Every tom dick and harry, old, young, girl, guy, businessman, sales representative, a stranger on the bus, walking away used to pass it to one another. even when i was having the worst of my days in school, no money issues or family problems, i used to go in a world away from this world for that very minute of a second and the feeling of me being on top of the world never challenged me in anyway. i felt good, vibrant with new energy to "conquer the world", take things at their own pace, one at a time and tackle them in all its simplicity just like a smile. trust me on this one. its the most beutiful feeling of it all when someone passes a smile to you and makes you feel special, even if it comes from a stranger. so take out more time from your everyday busy lives and smile more often..... works wonders both ways.... open your heart and make the effort to smile... its easy, less work than a frown and a good and inexpensive way to improve your looks.... so Smileeeeeeeeeeeeee :))))))

Pawns or Kings???

hmmm. choose. i dare you choose one. but think about it before you acutally go ahead and choose. analyze your life, your surroundings, your work, people, friends, acquaintances, family, ethics, road to success and blah blah blah. yes i know. i always come up with the strangest notions dont i? but what can i say. i only say the things that come naturally to me. who wouldn't. dont you? we pawns or kings??? mom tells us do this... yes ma'am, boss tells us do this... yes sir, hubby tells us do this... jee meray aaka. where should we go? you want to run away with me? me too. but where. how? when? where? why? running away will solve our problems. no? if not then what will. oh yah now you switching your point of view to being a king. ok. let me put it to you this way. what in today's world or everyday world that you do actually gives you the right to choose your destiny? i tell you nothing. we live our lives by the culture, the norms, the family expectations, the friends circle, cant make friends with this person... why not... cause they dont want to. but alas. you want something. it never goes your way. what exactly are we to do? there are rules and regulations for every damn thing in this world. even a table assembly comes with an instruction book. yes there is. why dont we follow it. not the way we want it to be? why are all the good things in life so damn hard to get and achieve? i want to be a creative designer.... im stuck doing mba. what to do? how do i get the knowledge i want and indulge in something that i want to do which i think i might be good at. yes yes i know lots of stupid and idiotic things all at once in one blog. but thats the way i am. all confused with no direction. why does all the good things have to wait... and we have to be patient about them? i want them now.... why cant i have them now. its easy to go get a freaking chocolate from teh store... why cant i get the things i want right now. why do i have to wait in line like everybody else does. i want the things now... yes im whining. why shouldn't i whine. again i ask... pawns or kings... hmmmm.... i wonder.... i think we are at a level below the pawns... we are expendable. no security in whatsoever field of life. but alas. you might tell me to wait. yes yes i will wait. what the hell else do i have to do but wait and kill time. oh well... back to the same shit different day syndrome. everyone wants to get out of their current fields.... all those who i know. why isn't anyone doing anything about it. im stuck .... are you? really? sure?? oh well... if thats the way you like it... be it be that way.

Just a Thought

Imagine yourself in a plastic bag covered all over you. You can move unlike a coffin but restricted beyond imagination. I can mould it, I can move, but the feeling of freedom is a dream from the ancient times. Convoluted thinking? I think not. We are all stuck in a land or a “place” in our own little plastic bags. Me, I feel the bag caving in each day, making the world around me shrink, taking the breathe out of me each time I breathe, polluting the very air with the mist of pessimism that surrounds me. Everywhere I look, I see a strange sight, strange people – all looking at me with a question in their eyes. “Where are U going? You can’t do it? You don’t have the capability to do it? How can U do it? You are 27 but I want to treat you like a 13 year old. I want to find new ways – new ways to see things. That in it self is an optimistic approach. I am studying marketing in a leading school. Someone once asked me to market myself to them – forget degree, disregard prior experience – just market yourself. Hmmm. I thought about it. I couldn’t answer. I know myself the best. Not my best friend, mom, dad or brother. Me, just me. Then why can I not sell myself? When asked to tell about my bad habits, I spurt out in a second. Huh!!! Human nature? Bullshit. Pessimistic Approach – HELL YAA!! From childhood we have been wrongly trained to see the worse. When I failed a class in my early schooling, I was corrected and told off and had to go give reasons for my failing a particular exam. It did not matter if I had A’s in the rest of the exams, the failing course was the predominant aspect of the conversation. I want to break free. Now I do not care where I go or how far I drop in my life, I just want to have an optimistic approach, how to spark the process that would allow me to break free of the things that surround me. I want to restart. I wish there was a restart button built in humans that would clear everything and allow us to start again. Good memories and things you value should remain while others can be deleted. I think that would provide a good way to escape, how harmful and how constructive the process would be, I do not know. I would definitely want to indulge in it. A thing that I want to break free. Please someone break the plastic bag for me or at least provide me a way to do it. And please DON’T tell me I can’t do it. I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 different ways that do not work. So bear me a little longer of Fuck off.