Dual Lives

yah yah i know. dont nod your head. another one of those things that you think im gonna rattle around like crazy. but think about it. do we live dual lives or do we lead one honest straight forward lives? Do we meet people who lead dual lives or is it just a sujbect that we read in the psychology books? i dont think there is anybody out there who is really sure on how to answer either question as a matter of principle. even if you are thinking that you are frank, honest, to the point and not hide or lie about anything, sub-consciously you do. there is nothing wrong with it. its just a human nature. i wonder how you can actually try to remedy that and lead one honest straight forward life. i know you want to lead dual lives, but from the people who we love or care about, i dont think its fair to them that we actually hide the our true inner selves. yes we want to tell them, but cant find the words. yes we want to share the world with them, but want to keep some things to ourselves. yes we want to give them all that they deserve and more, but feel like holding onto things from time to time. i want everyone to know my life, but at the same time i dont want to feel naked in my thoughts. i want them to share every moment of my life especially with the closest friends, but dont want them to judge me for what i do. why does everyone forget that what one does, does not reflect their personality but maybe a cause of their ability to jump into things and maybe regret it later. i am a smoker for those who dont know. but i dont want to be judged as one of those "bad boys that parents wnat to keep their kids away from" but cant change their thoughts or their attitudes. one might think and feel comfortable with the idea of leading dual lives... but can you justify it? i cant. if you can, then tell me and i will try to adopt. myabe it will give me that happier place that im looking for.